3 Surefire Ways to Avoid Being A Bad Date Magnet
By Kimberly Pryor, award-winning author and relationship expert
After your divorce, whether you’ve already started dating or are about to start putting yourself out there again, wouldn’t it be cool if from the beginning you knew exactly what to do to dramatically increase your chances of having more dates with sexy, interesting, funny, attractive people?
As a relationship expert I’ve seen many people who are dating after divorce do some things virtually guaranteed to make them a magnet for bad or boring dates—either the type of date they’re not attracted to or someone who has BIG issues.
Maybe you’ve gone on date after date and are having no luck.
Your dates are either boring or just all out bad. It makes you want to give up dating forever. But if you read every word of this article, it will give you a much-needed dating boost and show you exactly why you haven’t found someone who’s as crazy about you as you are about them.
And if you haven’t started dating yet, read this article and you’ll save yourself a lot of time and heartache when you do start dating.
Bad Date Magnet #1: Your Beliefs About Love
Chances are good you have certain beliefs about love based on your past experiences.
These beliefs can make it virtually impossible for you to attract the type of person you long to have in your life.
Author Lisa Steadman, during her presentation at The Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce Retreat, offered an exercise to show you how to kick those old beliefs about love out the door and change your beliefs in such a way that you’ll be far more likely to bring the right type of person into your life.
You see, Lisa was always attracting the wrong type of men. And from the time she was a child she saw her parent’s marriage collapse.
Lisa developed the belief that love was “shitty and sucky.” Every time love showed up in her life, that’s exactly the type of love that showed up. Shitty and sucky love.
To change her belief about love, Lisa created an easy exercise. Once she did this exercise every day something amazing happened. She met the man who would become her husband. And he definitely didn’t fall into the category of shitty and sucky.
Today, Lisa and her husband are very much in love.
Here is Lisa’s exercise. She redefined what love looks and feels like to her so she could attract something different. Every morning when you wake up, say out loud, “Love is_______” then describe what you want love to be in your life by filling in the blank.
For example, if you were abused in your marriage, your statement could be something like “Love is gentle and kind.”
Repeat your statement every morning.
Make sure your statements don’t imply something that will happen in the future. For example, “Love is here” is much better than “Love is on its way.”
Love could be on its way for years.
Bad Date Magnet #2: You’re Ignoring Red Flags
Wouldn’t you like to know when you’re out on a date if the person is likely to break your heart?
The good news is that there are certain signs to watch for. There are dozens, but I only have space to cover two of them here.
The first red flag is flakiness. He expects you to drop everything at the last minute to go on a date with you instead of planning. She cancels her plans with you at the last minute without having a good excuse.
You want to be involved with someone who is dependable, someone you can count on, not someone who makes you wonder one minute to the next whether you’ll be seeing that person or not.
The second red flag is not honoring your wishes.
If something is important to you, your date shouldn’t ignore it. I once met a man online—I’ll call him Italian Guy—who wanted me to drive to Reno to meet him for a date.
I live an hour away from Reno, and I felt as if the gentlemanly thing to do would be to meet me closer to my hometown for the first couple of dates.
I had even mentioned in my online dating profile that was important to me.
But no matter how many times I suggested we meet at a restaurant near my home, Italian Guy refused to drive here. He wasn’t respecting my wishes. So I told him goodbye.
Once you see these and other red flags, it’s important to pay attention to them. It may be tempting to ignore the red flags if your date is fun, interesting, and sexy.
But disengage yourself now, before you’re in too deep and get hurt.
Bad Date Magnet #3: You Give Up Too Soon
It’s frustrating when you have bad or boring date after bad or boring date.
Or even when very few attractive people are responding to your online dating profile or messages.
You start to think Maybe I should take a break from dating for awhile.
Even if you haven’t reached this point now, nearly every person who dates for a long time feels this way. This is especially true with online dating.
If you throw in the dating towel you will never meet that special person, the one who makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over, the one you can’t stop thinking about and who can’t stop thinking about you either.
The person who will add sparkle to your life. You’ll never meet that person if you give up.
So what should you do?
First, put some variety into your dating. If you’ve been relying mostly on online dating go out into the world and meet people in person. Meetup groups are a great way to socialize with people who have the same interests as you.
If you don’t feel comfortable going to a bar to meet members of the opposite sex, try going to a bar that doesn’t feel like a bar. Usually upscale bars fall into this category.
When I was single, I used to go to the Lone Eagle Grille at Lake Tahoe. Sitting in the lounge felt more like I was relaxing in the living room of a lakeside home than in a bar. And I felt perfectly comfortable there.
Second and most important, the reason why you’ve had no luck finding someone special is because you haven’t discovered some surefire ways to meet members of the opposite sex.
You haven’t discovered the secrets to meet people who are great conversationalists, funny, intelligent, sexy, and most importantly, treat you right.
There’s an easy way to find out how to stop attracting the wrong dates and become irresistible to the right people.
Be sure to sign up below to gain access to these free secrets about dating most divorced people will never know. You’ll also get immediate access to the free, life-saving report “5 Ways to Know Whether Your Date is Dangerous.”
Here’s to your finding someone special,
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